My 2009 Waskom High School Graduate

It happened. It is over. It is done.
Brittany graduated high school today, June 5, 2009 at 7pm. Now free from all ties to Waskom High School. She parked in her high school parking spot for the last time. Drove off the school property for the last time as a student.

I cry as I write this post tonight. Deep inside I am so, so sad. Really. I think I am so sad that I really don't know just how to be this sad. How is that? To tell you the truth I have so many emotions running around in my heart right now that I am on emotional overload! Go figure...

I will be posting pictures next week I hope. We got home late and I have to be up at 6am for Katelyn's softball tournament in the morning. We will be at the tournament all weekend in a town about an hour from our house. So, I am going to share with you some of the feelings I have in my heart tonight as I lay down to sleep...at least I hope I can sleep in spite of all these running emotions.

1. sad
2. proud
3. lifeless
4. happy
5. scared
6. confident
7. anxious
8. relieved
9. confused
10. triumphant
11. nervous
12. excited
13. heartbroken
14. tremendous love
15. understanding
16. lost
17. blessed
18. emptiness
18. honored
19. depressed
20. unconditional love
21. devotion

How can I be so happy to be so sad?

That is the question I have been asking myself this evening. You know, the question up there in the title. How can I be so happy to be so sad?

Prepare yourself because you are going to continue to hear about Brittany, my 2009 Graduate, here this week. Her final high school drama performance was tonight. She once again did an amazing job. To think back to her sophomore year when she wasn't even sure she wanted to try out and to see her now. The play was 'Dark of The Moon'. I absolutely love the play itself. My opinion is that it is about true love itself. Brittany is the lead female role, Barbara Allen.

Well there I was, in my seat in the high school auditorium, all settled in surrounded by my family ready to watch the performance for oh well I think this would be the 6th time or something like that. Anyway, I made it through the entire play without actual tears falling. I was constantly having thoughts flashing in and out of my mind of Brittany's past performances over the past three years. Then, at the very end it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS this would be her very last performance on this state. Tears began to roll. And roll. And roll. I cannot believe this...where has all of the time gone? Well, I can't change any of it, and I don't know that I can really prepare myself for my special graduate to walk across the stage on Friday night.

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On a lighter note and yes it was actually lighter. Here is what my food looked like today:
1 cup of coffee with creamer and sweet n low
lean cuisine sesame chicken
Kashi crackers
16 oz crystal light
snow peas
1 taco with flour tortilla, turkey meat
salad with strawberry, raspberry, mandarine oranges, and raspberry vinaigrette dressing.

I actually think that was everything that entered my mouth! Now, I have not found the time to monitor the exact calories, fat, carbs but I do know that it is such an improvement. I can see right off the bat that I must increase the water/crystal light/unsweet tea intake.

I did also take a very small walk, say maybe 10 minutes. But hey it was a walk and more than I have been doing.

Remember there is always ~hope~ in tomorrow!

Graduation 2009 is drawing near

Yes, this Friday my oldest daughter Brittany will be graduating high school. Hard to believe. I am so excited yet so saddened at the thought of this wonderful event. We went to the baccalaureate service this evening. It was not a very long service and just a precursor for what is to come this Friday.

Brittany has developed into such a wonderful young woman whom I am very, very proud of. Really and truly I cannot find the words to really explain my love, feelings, and emotions for her to you properly. You know. Mostly that deep motherly love.

I do wonder, hope, and pray though that we have given her the foundation that she needs beneath her feet to enter the other side of the world. Have I really added enough to her bag of life?

One thing I know for sure is that Brittany knows the love of God and Jesus liver in her heart. I praise God for this. She is a very compassionate person who deeply feels for others.

As graduation draws closer this week, many tears fill my eyes. Tears of joy, sadness, excitement, wonder, proudness... It seems like not so long ago I was holding my first born and singing You Are My Sunshine to her. I love you Brittany.
I love you deeper than you will ever know...at least until you have your own children and experience the greatest love of all...a mother's love.

More to come later this week...on my 2009 graduate!