Better than it was

My eating is much better than it was. While it could still be better, I am getitng there.
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Trying very hard to get back on track and think about what I am eating and putting into my mouth.
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Drinking more tea and water.
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I still feel very bloated in my stomach area.
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Eating a lot more veggies and fruits.
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Off to work and I have so much to get done there today. We then have a surprise something for Brittany's graduation tonight. I will share later what it is in case she happens to hop over here and read. I am sure my blog is the least of her worries but just in case.

I worked in my front flower bed last night. Also, Kenny got my garden tilled and I planted some bell pepper and pineapple sage. I am going to work on it this weekend.

Have a great Friday and eat some fruit and veggies today:)

Just a thought: Have you thanked God for all of your life lessons? Each life experience you have had down the high road and the low road? Take time today to thank him.....

My 2009 Waskom High School Graduate

It happened. It is over. It is done.
Brittany graduated high school today, June 5, 2009 at 7pm. Now free from all ties to Waskom High School. She parked in her high school parking spot for the last time. Drove off the school property for the last time as a student.

I cry as I write this post tonight. Deep inside I am so, so sad. Really. I think I am so sad that I really don't know just how to be this sad. How is that? To tell you the truth I have so many emotions running around in my heart right now that I am on emotional overload! Go figure...

I will be posting pictures next week I hope. We got home late and I have to be up at 6am for Katelyn's softball tournament in the morning. We will be at the tournament all weekend in a town about an hour from our house. So, I am going to share with you some of the feelings I have in my heart tonight as I lay down to sleep...at least I hope I can sleep in spite of all these running emotions.

1. sad
2. proud
3. lifeless
4. happy
5. scared
6. confident
7. anxious
8. relieved
9. confused
10. triumphant
11. nervous
12. excited
13. heartbroken
14. tremendous love
15. understanding
16. lost
17. blessed
18. emptiness
18. honored
19. depressed
20. unconditional love
21. devotion

How can I be so happy to be so sad?

That is the question I have been asking myself this evening. You know, the question up there in the title. How can I be so happy to be so sad?

Prepare yourself because you are going to continue to hear about Brittany, my 2009 Graduate, here this week. Her final high school drama performance was tonight. She once again did an amazing job. To think back to her sophomore year when she wasn't even sure she wanted to try out and to see her now. The play was 'Dark of The Moon'. I absolutely love the play itself. My opinion is that it is about true love itself. Brittany is the lead female role, Barbara Allen.

Well there I was, in my seat in the high school auditorium, all settled in surrounded by my family ready to watch the performance for oh well I think this would be the 6th time or something like that. Anyway, I made it through the entire play without actual tears falling. I was constantly having thoughts flashing in and out of my mind of Brittany's past performances over the past three years. Then, at the very end it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS this would be her very last performance on this state. Tears began to roll. And roll. And roll. I cannot believe this...where has all of the time gone? Well, I can't change any of it, and I don't know that I can really prepare myself for my special graduate to walk across the stage on Friday night.

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On a lighter note and yes it was actually lighter. Here is what my food looked like today:
1 cup of coffee with creamer and sweet n low
lean cuisine sesame chicken
Kashi crackers
16 oz crystal light
snow peas
1 taco with flour tortilla, turkey meat
salad with strawberry, raspberry, mandarine oranges, and raspberry vinaigrette dressing.

I actually think that was everything that entered my mouth! Now, I have not found the time to monitor the exact calories, fat, carbs but I do know that it is such an improvement. I can see right off the bat that I must increase the water/crystal light/unsweet tea intake.

I did also take a very small walk, say maybe 10 minutes. But hey it was a walk and more than I have been doing.

Remember there is always ~hope~ in tomorrow!

Graduation 2009 is drawing near

Yes, this Friday my oldest daughter Brittany will be graduating high school. Hard to believe. I am so excited yet so saddened at the thought of this wonderful event. We went to the baccalaureate service this evening. It was not a very long service and just a precursor for what is to come this Friday.

Brittany has developed into such a wonderful young woman whom I am very, very proud of. Really and truly I cannot find the words to really explain my love, feelings, and emotions for her to you properly. You know. Mostly that deep motherly love.

I do wonder, hope, and pray though that we have given her the foundation that she needs beneath her feet to enter the other side of the world. Have I really added enough to her bag of life?

One thing I know for sure is that Brittany knows the love of God and Jesus liver in her heart. I praise God for this. She is a very compassionate person who deeply feels for others.

As graduation draws closer this week, many tears fill my eyes. Tears of joy, sadness, excitement, wonder, proudness... It seems like not so long ago I was holding my first born and singing You Are My Sunshine to her. I love you Brittany.
I love you deeper than you will ever know...at least until you have your own children and experience the greatest love of all...a mother's love.

More to come later this week...on my 2009 graduate!

Austin, TX

We went to Austin, TX for my daughter Brittany's One Act Play UIL State Meet. They did an outstanding job and took second place. Brittany received a bronze Honorable Mention medal for her role in the play as Barbara Allen in Dark of the Moon. I am so proud of the entire Drama group but of course I am especially proud of my baby :)

We mainly stuck around the area of the hotel we stayed in, which was the same hotel the Drama group stayed in. We were 4 miles from the State Capitol Building and about 3 miles from the University of Texas. We went to the State Capitol and it was very very nice. The state performance was at the college.

I do have to say I was not that impressed with the portion of the city I saw. Now, like I said we mainly moved around very close to the hotel, but I am here to tell you I was completely and entirely shocked by the amount of homeless people we saw in this area. Totally shocked. Maybe I missed out on the city -I'm not sure. The hotel had an indoor pool and the kids wanted to swim, so we hung out at the hotel relaxing mostly.

Going to state competition

Brittany's Drama group performed last night and did an outstanding job. Of the six plays performing, two were chosen to advance to state and our group was one of them! Off to Austin in a couple of weeks to watch them perform! YAY:)

Happenings in my life...

So many happenings and so little time. I feel like my time is filled with something to do every minute of the day. That everyone else has control of my time and not me. Well, it is time to pull the reins back and regain what I can control in my life.

School will be ending soon and as far as time, this alone helps my schedule to narrow down a bit. The real downside to school ending is that Brittany will be graduating high school. Although I am so excited for her and want the best for her -it saddens me. Already so much independence has come her way as she comes to the end of her Senior year. Her time filled with her own interests and friends. Although I know she loves me and as much as she does not want to admit it, so much alike we are. But for me, there is not much time in her schedule. I miss taking her shopping (she has her own car now and goes herself and with her friends), I miss just having her in the house knowing she is being kept safe at all times.

We went to the Roseville Bed and Breakfast in Marshall, TX and took her Senior pictures last week. It was so beautiful and I was happy to be there to share in the time with her. She will not turn 18 until July 23 but in her heart she already is. She really is a wonderful daughter and I love her so much. She is my only blue eyed baby and boy do those eyes glisten.

We will be traveling to Nacodogches, TX this weekend to watch Brittany's drama group perform 'Dark of the Moon' again at their Regional performance. She enjoys performing so much and we love watching her. The only draw back is that we are so limited as you cannot attend practices and watch her, etc.

Katelyn has been busy with softball. She is a Freshman and has been playing for the high school team as pitcher. Her pitching has come a long way. She still has much room for improvement but she has come such a long way. She has a new boyfriend and seems to be really happy. He is a really good kid and we have always thought alot of him. She is also still playing for her tournament softball team.

Hunter. Well Hunter is being Hunter....all boy. God love him. He is just in one of those stages I guess. He is a great kid but boy he has his moments as I guess all 11 year old boys do. He is anxiously waiting for football season to come around. He got a Nintendo DSI for his birthday and really likes it. We had his family birthday this past weekend and it was really nice.

Kenny has been busy working and running along with the kids schedules. He is such a good man and I am so lucky to have him!

Me, well I am still me trying to make some improvements. I have been working on growing my time with the Lord. What a sense of strength I have found and continue to find as I read scripture or devotionals daily. Amazing the works being performed in my heart and for that I am thankful.

On a health note, I have developed an earache in my right ear. Not feeling so great and that would be why I am typing this at 4am! Going to the doctor tomorrow as I am having pain and pressure behind my right ear. I can feel the same pain and pressure in the left ear but my right ear is really starting to hurt more. I am feeling a strong pain sensation that comes in goes along with the constant pressure. Also think that I may have a sinus infection. Who knows!

I did have a full hysterectomy on 3/16. I started back working from home after two weeks. Back at work the third week. It has been really hard on my body but do to current work situations I had no real choice. Boy I sure would like about a years vacation!

May God give you a peacefulness in your heart as you take on the day. Can't we give him just two minutes of our day?

A Few Updates

Katelyn went to the physical therapist Fri afternoon for her set appt. I dropped her, Kenny, and Hunter off and I took Brittany to get her driver learner's permit. Kenny calls me as soon as I get to the driver's license office and says the insurance co ha not approved the therapy yet and they could not do anything until they get the approval. OK, I more than understand needing the ins approval, but did it take us walking in the door for them to figure this out? Couldn't someone have called us and said hey, we don't have ins approval yet so don't drive 30 mins over here for nothing. No. That would have been hard. That would have been asking to much. That could not have possibly been good cust svc now could it.
So, the physical therapist told Kenny she is sending a message back to the orthopedic dr that sent us to her stating that she does not believe physical therapy will help Katelyn and asking the orthopedic to refer us to a sports orthopedic. I will call my ins on Mon and see if we have to have the referral from the dr or will the referral from the physical therapist work.
Insurance.....uggggggg.

Meanwhile, Brittany and I managed to have all of the multiple papers we needed to get her driver learner's permit. Let's see those papers included: birth cert, ss card, verfication of education from the school, verification of attendance from the school, paperwork from parent taught driver's education showing what we have completed so far, and sense she does not have a school id I had to have another form of id which was a life ins policy (original copies) that was issued alteast 2 years ago. shew. Do you think that is enough papers to get a freakin' permit? Now, we got there a little before 4pm on Fri and there was a very long line. After getting all of the paperwork verified and paying our $5 Brittany had to take a 30 question test. She PASSED and she was very excited. Now she must hold her learners permit for 6 months and then we go back to get her license.